Life History of ash juniper

Life history refers to the set of adaptations of an organism that more or less directly influence its survival and reproductive success. It includes reproductive rate and output, age at first reproduction, seed germination, longevity and dispersal, growth rate and pattern as well as many other characteristics of the organism....
Digging up the root of my confusion if no one planted it then how does it grow? And why are some hellbent upon there being an answer while some are quite content to answer 'I don't know'? Oh and fallen leaves should curse their branches for not letting them decide where they should fall and not letting them refuse to fall at all
If you're not sure right now then please take a moment, but I need your signature before you leave. When I sleep I'm usually dreaming but more and more there's only one. Where every hired gun I've ever fired is making love to you while I look on. Oh and fallen leaves should curse their branches for not letting them decide where they should fall and not letting them refuse to fall at all. Digging up the root..

Love is a stranger

Rumi's poetry from "Love is a Stranger" translated by Helminski:


Heart came on solid footing with breath refined
to warn the best of communities.
Heart placed your head
like a pen on the page of love.
We are joyous pennants in your just wind.
Master, to where do you dance?
Toward the land of liberation,
toward the plain of non-existence.
Master, tell us which non-existence you mean.
The ear of eternity knows the letter of eternity.
Love is a stranger with a strange language,
like an Arab in Persia. I have brought a story;
it is strange, like the one that tells it.
Listen to your servant.
Joseph's face enlightened the well in which he was suspended.
His imprisonment became a palace
with orchards and meadows, a paradise,
a royal hall, and a chamber of sanctity.
Just as you toss a stone into the water,
the water at that very moment parts to receive it.
Just as a cloudy night is dispelled by a clear dawn,
from his humiliation and loss he views high heaven.
Reason do not envy my mouth.
God witnesses the blessings.
Through the tree drinks from hidden roots,
we see the display of its branches.
Whatever the earth took from heavens,
it yields up honestly in spring.
Whether you have stolen a bead or a jewel,
whether you have raised a flag or a pen,
the night is gone and day has arrived,
and the sleeper shall see what he has dreamed.

What you do when you're at home

I have my red suitcase packed. Its filled with winter clothes and all the papers and naked male trading cards and postcards and other miserabilia that I convinced myself to keep. I'm not saying they are all bad memories, I just want the chance to look back on it all and laugh gutturally. My past six months in lists-

ways I cope with bad roommate(s)
-Drinking tea constantly, initially this was smoking
-Pretending not to be at home and actually being good at this noise-wise
-Pretending not to understand Spanish, or otherwise being blissful on command
-Staying out as often as possible, going to field camps, travelling, staying at Natalys
-Cleaning what is dirty even if its not my turn to do it that week
-MOVING OUT IN FOUR DAYS.

ahh lists.
heres another

lively things that make me want to kiss your neck
-seeing anyone in a garish hat
-going to the dentist
-sleeping in when I'm on trips
-passing by the locutorio 'Samy'
-hearing the Beatles in the metro, also seeing strawberry stands that are everywhere in Germany
-naked angel bodies (dreams)

and one more

chaos and general roughbeatness I will Miss but not really
-understanding for insomnia, considering this healthy
-paying for public toilets, or pissing on the street
-lack of understanding of personal space if you're walking alone, always wanting to accompany you to the metro, to the corner, to do your shopping
-crazies singing or banging things
-the 'you can wear whatever the fuck you want' attitude of Madrilenos, like diaper pants that of course go with showing your cute underwear

Phoenixxx

This is Berlin. Being there for a week gives me the impression that it is constantly being updated and renovated and a small, dog-accompanied few prefer and hold on to the rest. The state actually pays you a special assistance if you have a dog, according to some girl I met, and there are plenty of other systems that help out the people that hold on so tightly to the dry rot and waning city structures..

So we walked around near the Brandenburg Gate and saw the Jewish memorial maze in the afternoon, with the sun shadows twisting and making the stones wave up and down and I started to feel like this is what it must be like to be in a place overcrowded with people, each as confused as you as to why you are there. I didn't take any pictures.

There are fantastically lighter parts of Berlin and my experience involved us three hanging out in various parks around town, drinking good beer that John picked out for me and eating curryfries. Katharina is a goddess. A bit strange, with tons of projects in her apartment that made it inviting and safe, wonderful creature comforts..this is where I slept, and yes that is Baloo.

Sentido de miedo compartido

Espero que no este enfadado que lo pongo aqui en mi pagina tambien, pero me gusta mucho sus palabras..que todo lo siguente es de un amigo mio durante poco pero que a la vez siento que conozco hace mucho tiempo.

Hay momentos en la vida que uno no puede parar de preguntarse sobre el sentido de esta. El miedo que provoca el vacío y el rápido paso del tiempo me crea una sensación irracional sin causas aparentemente justificadas. Aún estando rodeado de familia y amigos este miedo al vacío, a la soledad, al amor no correspondido y al futuro me causa un sentimiento de fustración que se termina pagando con la gente más cercana. La insatisfacción y la poca valoración de uno mismo ayuda a alimentar este estado.
Empezar a descubrir el mundo por ti mismo, sin ayuda de nadie, me ha provocado una tremenda sensación de vértigo. Quizás solo sea culpa de uno mismo; una autoexigencia exagerada que te lleva a la incomodidad allá donde estés.


Una vez hace mucho encontre una pintura surrealista llamada "El vertigo de eros" por Matta. Al verlo sientes esa duda de lo que queda por discubrir, lo que a veces piensas ver abajo de tu propio reflejo en el agua...es un tipo de ahogo inevitable, tan irresistible y tan destructivo que no puedes salir porque no sabes en que direccion esta para arriba. Pero pronto notaras que estas ahogando y seguiras hacia el aire- si no, te mueres en el agua.

Para el quien me tiene frita

Él no te da la felicidad
pero bien rápido la quita,
Él no te da la felicidad
pero si está te alegra el día.
Me tienes frito
y no te quiero ni ver,
metienes frito,
te necesito.

Los lagartos cambian de piel
cuando les pega el lorenzo,
notan la tierra que empieza a arder
y sólo tienen desierto.
Cierto...

Y no hay más cera que la que arde
cuando la vida se acelera,
aún vas deprisa pero vas tarde
y la suerte no te espera...

Me tienes frito
esperando el autobus,
Me tienes frito
por las aceras,
Me tienes frito
ver cómo vienes y vas,
Me tienes frito
que nunca vuelvas.

Los lagartos...

Los marcianos no van a venir
porque saben que es esto,
y si estuvieran estarían aquí
quedándose boquiabiertos...

Una de cal, una de arena,
mueve tu culo pa buscar faena
y cuando esté, que sea buena
pa pagar las deudas y llenar la nevera,
llenar la nevera...

Los lagartos...

Soynbeans

This is bad English, to start. It's true that students more than ever are worried about the future, here in Spain as well as back home- what jobs they are going to get, will they be happy doing what they're doing, all that. Come on, a tomar por culo, interships or waiting tables, its all about learning and practicing floating your own boat. Lately for me this has been going on wilderness adventures exercising my analytical and detail-noticing skills and then coming back to Madrid to dance in shoes that don't feel comfortable after being in my supermarket boots for a week straight. Also this involves cooking a lot of rice or noodles with soy sauce, a lonely subsistence I know.

This isn't to say I'm not also looking for a job, waitressing here, giving smoking discouragement on the telephone for the Cancer Society in Austin. If it's not economically advantageous, I'm not interested. Saving the world, fighting poverty or oil companies, yo que se? Si no paga, da igual, vamos.

If we write it down it will stay for longer. I can't believe myself what ghost is creeping into my left ear crawling down my leg and spinning its web in the attic corner, why do I feel this all the time that there's a part of myself I hate and I want to bury inside this vicious judgement all my own? Or from another longer hold? The city is calling and I cannot hit it to make it fly, I aim and stand up and weakness holds me fast and lasting, taken me by the sunshine child rays and held me down for days and days
intervention skeleton cigarette smoke make you look pretty paper julia
was the only one wearing the seatbelt
she was the only one wearing the seatbelt
i want to find myself
ive lost a life myself
paper money gives me rabies'all the families and their babies taking their sweet time
to give back what isnt right and take the step to find their own
make it right girl find your home
o you can wander for a long long time and you can be blackfooted in walmart at night
o you can have a life with a lapdog and a wife
o you can do a million things that aint alright

dunas enterrandola cuidandola que la arena no se metiera en las orejas
alivia la duda como las aves que chillan por la libertad
verla me ha cambiado la vida me ha dado esperanza para todo
incendida guardia de la pureza
normal no existe solo lo divino
interlengua interalma traductora de lo escondido pero tejido en lo real
amor a lejos abrasiva jornada

esto es, la divinia

QUE

Ahora estoy aqui, y me gustaria ser tu padre

Te acuerdas de lo malo que has hecho en tu vida? Que eres una mala amiga, que realmente no sientes nada para las personas, que solo tienes amigos viejos locos porque sientes una locura que solo ellos pueden entender y apreciar? Que eres tonta, una bebe de 21 anos, sin pensamientos buenos porque la vida te apresiona demasiado, que el silencio te agota y sigues viviendo como si no fuera nada. No puedes sentir algo bueno para la gente a tu alrededor porque no crees que vale la pena, porque estas viviendo?? A que tienes miedo??? Como lo vas a pasar con hambre, sin hambre, con amigos, sin amigos, si realmente no lo quieres? Lo primero que piensas es que nada es verdad, que todo es una mentira y que solo los locos lo entienden. No tienes fuerza mental para superar nada, superar tu hambre, superar la pena de la vida que lo tienes tan segura ya por el dinero de los padres, que normalmente no lo piensas tanto y por eso puedes seguir como normal.
Cuando realmente das cuenta de que eres y de que es la vida y como puedes ser como persona, ERES VACIA, resulta que se rompio tu mundo fragil como tu nombre. Si no haces un cambio, te mueres. Si no te acuerdas de lo malo, como puedes sentir lo bueno? Con pastillas? Jamon? Soya? No te vale el resto, solo eso, que si no lo logras, si no estas tomando no puedes divertirte, si te olvida todo, es fuerte!!!!!!!!!!!!! EL TIO PENSABA QUE ERAA SU HIJA Y NO LA DEJO POR ESO, pues nos matamos los dos!

Déjame, no juegues más conmigo,
esta vez, en serio te lo digo
tuviste una oportunidad,
y la dejaste escapar.

Déjame, no vuelvas a mi lado,
una vez, estuve equivocado,
pero ahora todo eso pasó,
no queda nada de ese amor.

No hay nada que ahora ya, puedas hacer
porque a tu lado yo, no volveré, no volveré.

Déjame, ya no tiene sentido,
es mejor que sigas tu camino,
que yo el mío seguiré,
por eso ahora déjame.

No hay nada que ahora ya, puedas hacer
porque a tu lado yo,
no volveré, no volveré.

Déjame, ya no tiene sentido,
es mejor que sigas tu camino,
que yo el mío seguiré,
por eso ahora déjame,,

Tuviste una oportunidad
y la dejaste escapar...

carnaval madrid

This store is at the corner of my street, but I didn't know it until today. That's how much is around that I haven't been able to see, even the corner of my street is something new.

This night can be captured in this glowing billboard, although it wasn't Saturday. After introducing Eliz to American SNL and hanging around the piso with Ana and G lo we went out searching, todo por la risa. Encontremos nada de baile pero al final tomemos unas copas de un liqor de anis (se me olvido el nombre) en un bar donde habian dos personas mas que nosotros, y comoquiera vamos conociendonos.

This place does not stop, and I am a jelly fish transparent, not permeated by it but still surrounded by and tapping its glow. I run through the city all day and probably go too fast to see anything worth a memory. Si alguna vez pienso perder el tren, voy a pensar del tiempo que tengo. Para prepararme preocuparme y dudarme y no de los tiempos de andar con hambre, de los tiempos que todavia me sobran. Todo eso pienso antes del tiempo para tomar un te con amigos del piso, olvidando el cansacio de la madrugada.

Search the darkness

Sit with your friends; don't go back to sleep. Don't sink like a fish to the bottom of the sea.
Surge like an ocean, don't scatter yourself like a storm.
Life's waters flow from darkness. Search the darkness, don't run from it.
Night travelers are full of light, and you are, too; don't leave this companionship. Be a wakeful candle in a golden dish, don't slip into the dirt like quicksilver.
The moon appears for night travelers, be watchful when the moon is full.

RUMI